I turned and smiled up at my captor/savior, then forgot what I was going to say. Gently, I might add, as if I might break from the foot long drop. I patted the vice across my stomach, “are you ever going to put me down?” “Oh, I agree.” He said as he tried to pull in deep breaths, only to start gales of laughter. “It's not funny Chill!” I looked at him in disgust. Chill looked over at me and collapsed all the way to the ground, his face now red from his secret weapon, full on braying laughter. My feet left the ground and I hung in midair. I bounced forward again and the only thing that kept me from taking a header onto the concrete was an iron band wrapped around my waist. “EEEthat's just GROSS!” I yanked myself out from under his arm, and he took the opportunity to brace himself, hands on knees.Īs I stumbled back from my twin, who now – in my book – had a giant case of the cooties, I slammed against something hard where nothing hard should be. This caused him to break out his secret stash of guffaws as he nodded frantically. “No!” I stumbled to a stop and looked at him in horror. “They think we're dating.” He said after he got over his little bout of snorts. Otherwise, I'd hate him just a little bit there. It's a good thing he's my twin and I actually LIKE him. “Chill, any idea why those girls are giving me dagger eyes?” Seriously though, what was the deal with those girls. He'd even buy us plane tickets and a hotel room if it was out of state. He would pay, buy me a shirt, dinner, the whole nine. My brother made a deal with me, if I could go a whole six months without cussing, he would take me to a Negative Sheep concert. What the ever living fluck was their deal? Chill had his arm around my shoulders and a couple of girls in the corner glared at me. The day was blustery, not surprising since it was October. One would hope for the honor of being memorialized in bronze and on public display, rather than hidden in a dingy side street hidey-hole, but if you’re Sweet’N Low, I guess you take what you can get.Chill and I tossed our trash and went out to stand in the courtyard. In Rizzo’s theory, the perpetrator has created a tiny tribute to that most famous saccharin-dextrose concoction whose time has come, wolves hopped-up on Splenda gathered at the door. Splenda, Equal, NutraSweet, Truvia, Sweet Leaf, and probably others, are all out there crowding the field. Sweet’N Low, though not the first artificial sweetener, owned that market for half a century. I always say: if you want to know about something that pretends to be sweet, look no further than Rizzo. This one comes from co-worker Rizzo, present at the discovery. Theory: The framed packet as tribute to an artificial sweetening classic Yes: conspiracy theorists are rampant, their evidence minimal, but the desire for truth is as strong as black coffee. What makes a person frame a single Sweet’N Low packet and then hide the tiny objet d’art inside the metallic drain of an Oakland office building? Strange but true, The Orbit came across exactly one such exhibit earlier this week, on the side street face of one of Pitt’s off-campus buildings.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |